Through new interviews with detainees, startling new techniques of interrogation have been discovered from the halls of Guantanamo Bay. In my long standing career as a Qualified Torturer of Sisters (QTS), I never realized the American government was utilizing the same tactics. New information reveals that prisoners were forced to listen to a range of American music at loud volumes, including the Sesame Street song!? BRUTAL. And here I am as a young lad thinking this kind of audio assault was only useful at detaining my sister in her room. Here is the list of music used, via CNN: Gitmo Playlist.
Judging by the tracklist, it’s clear that the songs were selected well before 2009, with possible evidence to suggest they were selected as far back as 2000. Who is this mysterious “Limp Bizkit” band? There is no evidence of their existence today. Also, judging by the range of genres used, it’s clear that it was created before the advent of the Genius Mix. The Bee Gees on the same mix as Saliva? iTunes wouldn’t stand for such injustice today. What’s even more shocking is that the government is clearly demonstrating use of illegal downloading procedures. In 2005, tell me what MP3 store you could find the following tracks:
The Barney Theme Song
Meow Mix Jingle
The Sesame Street Theme Song
Uhhhhh, using LimeWire to speed up the interrogation process much, George W.? I’m with the rest of the bleeding heart liberals on this front: Guantanamo Bay needs to be closed, if only for introducing foreign nationals to some of the worst examples of American music EVER. Chalk this one up to “Why They Hate Us“, Fareed Zakaria; if I had to listen to (Hed) P.E. more than ten seconds a day, I’d start reevaluating my allegiances as well.
My guess is that by this point in time, anyone still bothering to read the Fog is either looking for porn in the wrong place (sorry!) or a Nintendo geek… or both. In case you haven’t noticed, the Nintendo loyalty around these parts is nothing short of unending. SPOILER ALERT, this post is going to be about Nintendo, but before you 360 whores turn your attention elsewhere, hear me out: this is not a puff piece. In fact, as a dedicated Wii user and longtime Nintendo fan, it breaks my heart to have to write such harsh things about a company I have grown to love over the years. But I’ve gone quiet for too long. Despite containing a market share of nearly double any of its competitors, the Wii platform has done little to stimulate its fan base on any sort of level. What was the best game you played on the Wii? Oh yeah, Twilight Princess… a LAUNCH title.
The Nintendo Wii was released to eager consumers in the prosperous time of 2006 when people still trusted banks and CNN was still a “news” outlet rather than a mere pawn of social networking websites. Yes, those were the days. On that fateful November day, I waited in line in the freezing cold at Walmart with people like this, anxious to get my hands on some new, exciting video game hardware before the rest of the waking world. And boy was it sweet, taking control of Link in an epic, 40+ hour game that I had yearned to play from the time it was promised to be released on the GameCube. But what have you done for me lately, Nintendo?
Holy smokes! Summer 2009 has officially been over for ALMOST A MONTH NOW and we’ve still got six reviews backed up, their window of relevance rapidly drawing to a close. So without further ado, let’s start with the most aptly titled entry: ‘(500) Days of Summer.’ Kleenexes at the ready!
You know those movies?
Like, “This one was made for me”?
…They read my diary.
When we decide to catch a movie, it’s for any number of reasons. Sometimes we want to see something we’ve never seen before. Or we want to escape the mostly boring lives we lead. Occasionally we might watch something hoping it’ll lend us an air of sophistication (“I didn’t even notice the subtitles!”) or a conversational in at the water-cooler (“I saw Juno TOO, dude!”). We’ve all got our terrible, terrible motives. Ultimately, though, the biggest draw of any movie — and any creative work, really — is the hope that we’ll see something that reflects our own lives. To know that someone out there has experienced what we’ve experienced, or felt what we’ve felt. As cliche and emo as it sounds…to know we’re not alone.
In which we (I) fail once again to produce an actual post, but talk about posts that are coming soon. I swear. I’m really not kidding, guys.
It’s easy to talk. We all say absurd things we can’t possibly back up; make outrageous claims that, given a quick Google search, will most assuredly be proven false. The bulk of us are liars and snake oil salesmen, wrapping our fiction in pretty bows and winking to the audience as we sell a load of crap to naive, trusting townsfolk.
But that is not Lifting Fog*!
We may not be much for consistency — I think I wrote eight times this summer? — but we are truth-tellers through and through, dedicated to fulfilling our promises no matter how long or hard-fought the road to publication. And now, with summer bottling up its last golden rays, the time seems more fitting than ever to let you in on our forthcoming stabs at blog satisfaction. A look ahead:
– Haiku Reviews of Inglourious Basterds, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Funny People, and Up. “But aren’t all of those movies, like, out of theaters?” Umm, aren’t the DVDs coming out soon? TIMELY.
– “The Great NYC Burger Tour,” first announced…half a year ago, will be kicking off with write-ups of M2M, Corner Bistro, and Shake Shack. A feast for the eyes! Or something!
While millions of young kids across the country are being introduced to The Beatles for the first time thanks to Harmonix’s The Beatles: Rock Band, things in their number one competitor’s camp are unfolding far more dramatically. Sure, the joy of finally seeing your children play a video game that you can identify with is a heart-warming story… but the dramatic turn of events surrounding Guitar Hero 5 and the ill-executed Kurt Cobain avatar has been far more interesting. Read it and weep, Generation Y:
It’s Tuesday, which makes “Mondaze” an inaccurate label, but who cares. Tuesdaze. The Beatles!
They say that everything old is new again, and right now nothing proves that more than the hyper fanfare surrounding the latest offerings from The Beatles. 45 years after appearing mop-topped and suited-up on the Ed Sullivan show, the boys from Liverpool are once again driving women (and middle-aged men) crazy: tomorrow sees the twin release of The Beatles: Rock Band and remastered editions of all their albums. The box set of the latter has been sold out on Amazon since it was announced a few weeks ago; the former will likely be the most sought-after videogame of the fall. The Beatles, arguably the greatest and most devotion-inspiring band of the 20th century, have now successfully planted their flag in the filled with unmemorable music newish 21st. Good thing, those guys could definitely use the money!
There was a brief moment in Sunday’s Mad Men (really under-the-radar show, no one watches it) where junior ad man Paul Kinsey reached into his pocket and I, along with everyone I was watching with, thought he was going to pull out a cell phone. To call someone. In 1963! This would have been a glaring historical inaccuracy, obviously — and anyway would never have made it past creator Matthew Weiner’s (whose obsessive attention to detail borders on psychopathic) gaze — but it got me thinking… How much funnier an hour-long comedy would Mad Men be with some well-placed “spot the anachronism” Easter eggs for superfans and other easily flustered viewers? So much funnier, right? Consider the following proposal for a very special April Fool’s Day episode:
Depending on how old you are, your knowledge of Scandinavian pop music may or may not include Denmark’s hard rocking indie band called Mew. Having just released their new album on August 25th entitled [deep breath] No more stories Are told today I’m sorry They washed away No more stories The world is grey I’m tired Let’s wash away, the band is on a massive tour this Fall, opening for Nine Inch Nails on several dates including two this week in Los Angeles, before heading to Europe. As a long time fan of the Danish band since the release of their previous album And The Glass Handed Kites (a much less demanding title for the most part), the moment I saw tickets pop up for a headlining show at the famous Troubadour in West Hollywood, I jumped at the chance. Full review after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
And we didn’t think you’d make it past 33 with all the…well, you know. So happy you’re still bombing around! To those reading this in the Burbank area, be advised that Steve will probably pull out his guitar at some point tonight and ask you to join him in a Jimmy Eat World-ish version of “With a Little Help from My Friends.” Indulge him, this is his special day. Kisses!
PS – Although this post is filed under the “Junk Drawer” category, it’s worth mentioning that Steve is not, in fact, junk. At least junk gets picked up.
Well, we’ve come to very nearly the end — Summer 2009 (light beer advertising style dictates that you capitalize this) is almost over, and we reflect on a season filled with both sun (happy moments; sun) and storms (death; storms). Fun fact: Summer is second only to spring in the “seasonal weather-related metaphors” department!
So a lot of famous people — some pretty important — died these past few months. Did you hear about this? Those of us still living continued to fight the effects of this pesky recession, taking “me-kends” and “stay-cations” instead of real trips to real places, which is a luxury we can no longer afford. “Get a job,” your father told you. You’re only twelve! Movie studios were still cool with stealing people’s cash, shitting out everything from Transformers to Paper Heart (not all that dissimilar!) and laughing while we Twittered tweeted how much we hated them, because they already had our money. They’ll be laughing again when we buy the collector’s edition DVD in November. We might buy the Blu-Ray version, too, because even though we don’t own a player yet it’s good to be prepared for when the prices come down. That’s just being prudent.
It’s a complicated and scary world out there – one fraught with economic strife, terrorism, and Seth Rogen – but in here you can always feel secure. Hello! And welcome to Lifting Fog.
Did a friend tell you about us? A nice man on the street? No matter how you made your way to The Fog, your patronage is deeply appreciated. Completely new to the site? Years of history condensed here for your convenience.
We know you’ve got a lot of choices when it comes to navel-gazing pop culture blogs disguised as records of burgeoning maturity, and we thank you for flying with us. From everyone here at Lifting Fog… you made the right choice. Laughter-filled skies ahead, folks!
Through new interviews with detainees, startling new techniques of interrogation have been discovered from the halls of Guantanamo Bay. In my long standing career as a Qualified Torturer of Sisters (QTS), I never realized the American government was utilizing the same tactics. New information reveals that prisoners were forced to listen to a range of American music at loud volumes, including the Sesame Street song!? BRUTAL. And here I am as a young lad thinking this kind of audio assault was only useful at detaining my sister in her room. Here is the list of music used, via CNN: Gitmo Playlist.
So a lot of famous people — some 
Henning
DJ Steve
