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Posts Tagged ‘The Internet’

Gypsies 1, Internet 0

April 8, 2011

While the US Federal Government prepares to go on a vacation from which we all hope they’ll return with t-shirts and souvenirs, it’s important to distract ourselves with less depressing news. Thankfully, there is always someone out there who knows EXACTLY what we need.

Several days ago an elderly Georgian “pensioner” (which in the Caucasus region is of course code for “gypsy”) digging for scrap metal in the town of Ksani accidentally struck a large fiber-optic cable…and summarily cut off Internet connections to both Georgia and neighboring Armenia. It’s a deep, convoluted story, but let’s really try to unpack this thing piece by piece:

1) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha–

2) “Many Georgians’ Internet connections were also briefly cut in 2009 by another scavenger who damaged the fibre-optic cable.”

3) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA–

There’s something so…achingly perfect in the image of a 75-year-old woman unknowingly hacking away at an entire country’s Internet connection. Especially when it’s a real image, not even dreamt up (who would dream about that……right?) or composed for a Bergman-inspired student film! In a world so dependent on tethered computers that allow us to compare Doodle Jump scores while writing blog posts no one will read, all it takes to bring everything to a grinding halt is a persistent gypsy with a worn-out shovel. Life is BEAUTIFUL.

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China vs. The Internet

March 12, 2009

“Technocentricity” is our newest category, tackling today’s hyper-connected culture of technology. There’s Wii, iPhone, Netflix. There’s Twitter, Facebook, GMail. There’s no escape. WE ARE ALL PART OF THE MACHINE.

kid-addictAmericans love the Internet. The Germans hate it. Most everyone else is sort of ambivalent. The Chinese? They love it so much they want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. Case in point: a February 19th Time article, “Postcard from Beijing“, examining the obsessive Internet usage of China’s young people… but more importantly, the lengths to which some parents are going to curb this kind of behavior. Time out? Increased chores? Such Western remedies. Your son just “beat and bit [you] again this morning after [you] wouldn’t let him touch the computer.” Forget a spanking – no, Rongshu, you’re going to F*CKING BOOT CAMP.

Read on!