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Posts Tagged ‘The End’

Growing Up Muggle: The ‘Harry Potter’ Years (Part Two)

August 22, 2011

Sometime last month we dusted off the root causes of Pottermania; today we take our archaeological dig further and discover why it meant as much as it did…and what future generations will miss on their own Potter voyage. HARD-HITTING EDITORIAL, bitches witches!

2. What’s My Age Again?

Because we never mention this sort of thing here ever, I should state clearly that Steve and I are 25 years old. Most of our friends are between the ages of 23 and 26. So when the first (stateside) Harry Potter book was released, we were all between the ages of 10 and 13 — or to put it more clearly, pretty much the same age as Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Although we’d begin to speed past them in age when they’d take their extended summer breaks, the characters were often struggling with the same TEENAGE ANGST we were facing outside the book. Harry and Ron can’t find dates to the Yule Ball? Hermione freaks out over O.W.L.s? Sounds familiar! (They also battled dragons and snake-whispering mass-murderers but, you know, analogous experiences.)

Keep reading!

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Growing up Muggle: The ‘Harry Potter’ Years (Part One)

July 28, 2011

For lots of 20-somethings who speak different dialects of English, this summer marks something like the final death blow to our childhood: the official, no-effing-around end of the Harry Potter book and film series. Those unhinged among us will always have their Quidditch matches to attend and Dobby/Aragog slash fiction to write, but for the purposes of CANON — of JK Rowling’s pure, un-besmirched vision — well, we’re done.

(Moment of silence)

The last written page was published four years ago, so it’s really just the movies now — pushed past the financial collapse and Betty White reanimation — whose ending we come to mourn. But considering how closely the movies have mirrored both the literary evolution of the book series (improving with each new entry) and the none-too-significant “waiting game” that played out between releases, the cut feels somehow deeper. More significant. It’s not just the story that’s come to an end, but the enveloping Harry Potter experience: ten years of reading, waiting, predicting, discussing, watching, and analyzing that occupied a unique time in a lot of our lives…a time that, let’s be real, can’t and won’t happen again.

If you’re up for it, please…keep reading.

What’s the Deal with The Rapture?

May 20, 2011

It’s important to begin any kind of discussion of tomorrow’s foretold event with one clarification: the world isn’t going to end on May 21st, 2011.

…It’s going to end five months LATER, after the pious and penitent have had time to settle into their new Heavenly digs and the rest of us are too deep into football season (if it happens) to really care too much. Jesus is nothing if not one for delivering the unexpected encore!

But what is the Rapture? Will God’s chosen be pulled to Heaven on a ray of alien light, drawn skyward as though by tractor beam? Will they simply drop dead at the dinner table, parted from their weak manflesh? Are there some other heretofore un-imagined means by which they’ll be transported to their final reward? No one knows! Which makes the Vegas odds on this thing something of a disaster, but the countdown to 6pm — when it’s all supposed to go down — that much more captivating. If God’s hand literally scoops His elect people off the streets and into white satin robes and non-alcoholic beer, I am going to be a VERY RICH MAN for my last five months on Earth.

Keep reading!

In Closing, A Poem… Goodbye ‘LOST’

May 23, 2010

Have you ever been ‘LOST’?

Have you ever been a man (or woman) of faith?
Have you ever craved peanut butter so badly you could taste?
Have you ever felt… out of place?

If you could change any moment, would you choose a different path?
If you had to save a loved one, would you suffer a smoke monster’s wrath?

Could you initiate a gigantic blast, if it meant saving your friends from having to relive their pasts?
Could you face another flash, if it meant having to listen to a cocky conman’s sass?

Would you suffer through pain, in a ditch, in the rain…
Knowing you were destined to be the pawn in someone else’s game?
Returning on a raft, could you handle all the fame?
Could you lie to all the world and pretend that you were sane?

Have you ever feared ten numbers or written hundreds of names on a wall?
Have you saved a man’s life who just experienced a devastating fall?
Have you escaped from a collapsed cave by struggling through a crawl?
Have you ever felt betrayed, seeing an old friend run to snag a football?

Would you turn another key…. to save one, instead of many?
Would you push the button? Jump down a well? Torture someone just to see…
A phone ringing, a freighter, a call on Christmas Eve

Could you kill your husband, when looking down the sights?
The father of your child, left to only whisper in the night
If you had to make a choice between what was wrong and what was right,
could you stab your mother in the back in search of a golden light?

Have you ever been left facing the barrel of a gun?
Have you ever gotten free but watched on as someone takes your son?
Have you ever desired answers but had to settle for just one?
Have you ever committed arson and spent your entire life on the run?

Could you promise to save a man, you hate with all your being?
If a cripple began to walk, would seeing become believing?
If you were shot in the back as a child, would you still be left breathing?
If you knew you’d never come back would you still plan on leaving?

Have you drank a bottle of McCutcheon and told your life story while you were sauced?
Have you ever stepped over a line of ash that’s never been crossed?
Have you died? Have you been reborn? Have you lost the ability to walk?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you know what’s its like… to have been LOST

Click here to download a PDF version!

2010 Winter Olympics: Not Boring! (Part FIN)

March 4, 2010

Well, they’re over.

The 2010 Vancouver Games ended on Sunday night not with a dull whisper but with The Marriage Ref a boisterous, nonsensical roar — the most fitting capper possible to a two-week competition that, at every turn, proved more weird and entertaining than it had any right to be. Lifting Fog spent a few days during those two weeks celebrating the people and events that made this happen — see here, here, here, and here — but the Olympics being a HUGE INTERNATIONAL affair, we only really scratched the surface. What did we miss while we were doing keg stands at the Holland Heineken House?

It’s all after the jump!