Posts Tagged ‘Screenwriting’

Fake Suburban Prison Makes Us All Feel Like We’re in a Much Larger, Existential Prison

April 16, 2012
Photo by Andy Holzman, Los Angeles Daily News

In the West Hills area of Los Angeles right now stands a house surrounded by chain link fence and razor wire, a makeshift guard tower on the premises, looking to all passersby like a prison. A man in an orange jumpsuit often pumps iron in the yard, attended by guards. Signs warn of electric shocks to those who touch the fence. There have even been protests outside, some broken up by police. The scene has all the trappings of an honest-to-God penal institution.

But wait a second — home-owned and/or -converted prisons don’t yet exist! That’s not a thing! I’m starting to wonder if this is more like-

Keep reading!

Checking In on the Very Real ‘Candyland’ Movie

May 24, 2011

There was a time not long ago, say 2008, when despite the continued existence of goodness assassin Michael Bay, jokes about Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy were still sort of funny. I mean, they wouldn’t really make a Candyland movie. No way! Even the least artistically-minded schlock-king in Hollywood (read: whoever made Beverly Hills Chihuahua, a name I refuse to look up) would turn up his nose at the prospect of “adapting” a board game designed for three- and four-year-olds, with characters like “Lord Licorice,” into a movie of ANY stripe. It’s too dumb; spits on the graves of cinema’s pioneers with maybe too much malice. Three years ago, we could still laugh at the utter ridiculousness of the possibility. Hahahahaha!

The time for laughter is OVER. Candyland is now a very real movie, being written with very real words. Rapture false alarms be damned, we are clearly in for a very real End of Days.

The Apocalypse illuminated, after the jump!

Adventures in Adult Education

January 15, 2009

I am always, always trying to better myself. Or at least I have been since Tuesday, when I began to take serious stock of my taunting list of New Year’s resolutions. It’s an ambitious package: weight loss, moral refinement, apologies (so many apologies), washing bedsheets. I feel for Obama when I realize none of this will be accomplished within the span of four years. But perhaps futilely, I’m determined to make at least a little headway in my quest to become “the best Henning possible.”™ Up first? Gettin’ educated.

joemontygradWhile they’re probably teaching Sex Ed earlier and earlier these days, it’s still a lie to claim “all we really need to know we learned in kindergarten.” I get the allegory – we should all share, be kind, and use restrooms. I support all those things. But to borrow another t-shirt-approved cliche, “learning is a lifelong process.” Brains new and old should be regularly stimulated, given something to do. That’s why we have Sudoku! Reader’s Digest! According to the degree framed delicately as a flower in my bedroom, I have been educated at the collegiate level. (I know, thanks!) But have I learned all I need to know? Can Bible Theory really help me do my taxes? There’s gotta be some room left upstairs. It was in this spirit of continued education that I recently sat in on an introductory class at the Gotham Writers’ Workshop.

Join the edu-taining fun!