Posts Tagged ‘Phillies’

Sober. And Ready to Destroy the Competitions.

April 6, 2009

We did it, Kenny! Five months, eight babies and one new President later, Major League Baseball has finally returned. Y’ALL READY FOR THIS?!

Everyone remembers last season’s storybook ending: the much-maligned but f*ck-the-haters-they’re-awesome Philadelphia Phillies clinched their first World Series title in 28 years. Hiyo! Of course, baseball tends to double-back on itself like LOST, so anyone from the Delaware Valley could have told you how this season would begin: the traditional Phillies loss, this year to the Atlanta Braves and pitcher Derek Lowe. Oops.

Luckily there are still 161 games to play – an entire season of mid-day binge drinking and parking lot fights – and nowhere to go but up. Plenty of time to make the necessary adjustments. Welcome back, professional baseball!

Things That Happened In The Last Five Weeks, Part 2

November 6, 2008

2) “You… You’re Serious. The Phillies Made the World Series?”

This is the last Phillies post, I swear.

They happened, alright, and in a bigger way than hardly anyone could have expected. After last year’s dismal showing in the post-season (against a red-hot Colorado Rockies team), all I was hoping for this year was an NLCS berth. What did I get? What did the City of Brotherly Love get? Oh, I think you know. World f*cking champions, baby.

In over 100 years of league play, the Phillies had won the Fall Classic only once before. The city of Philadelphia, home to incredible fictional athletes like Rocky Balboa and Tony Danza, had not seen a championship in over 25 years. The Fightin’ Phils’ routing of Tampa Bay, then, was huge – maybe not for unrepetant bastard Bud Selig or moderately successful former gay porn star Joe Buck, but certainly for a great number of people in and around the Delaware Valley. We may be fat. We may be obnoxious. We may be borderline f*cking retarded. But dammit if we’re not proud of our team. More fandemonium after the jump!

And Nearly Three Decades Later…

October 30, 2008

BAM! The Philadelphia Phillies are 2008 World Champions! Neither rain nor snow nor Bud Selig nor Joe Buck could stop the most efficient and charismatic team in baseball from claiming what was rightfully theirs. 28 years in the making, goddamn… CONGRATULATIONS, PHILLIES!!

More to come in the sober – but still glorious, because THE PHILLIES WON THE WORLD SERIES – morning. See you then! Until dawn breaks, though, enjoy these thoughts:

The Fog Bowl and Jeff Ruland, Scott Stevens and Joe Carter – all of the symbols of local futility – can be put to rest. The Philadelphia fan does not need them anymore as proof of a hardened soul. Hearts are light now, joy has come to Mudville. The Phillies are champions.
– Tyler Kepner, NY Times

Now open your eyes, exhale and know this: It’s over. All of the torture that we have endured over the past 28 years will end tonight. Our wounds will heal, and we will no longer be losers. We’ll always be Philadelphians, and tonight, we will never be more proud.
– ThrillhOUse69, Phillies Nation

Potpourri (1 of 2)

August 27, 2008

I apologize in advance for the randomness of what you’re about to read (although maybe you won’t now!). This may well be the most incoherent post I’ve yet written, but my mind’s in a million places right now and to attempt to wax philosophical on any one subject would be futile. Hillary. Phillies. Olympic Village sex. Kid Rock. This one’s random access like woah, so hold onto the belt of the kid in front of you as you prepare to read. BETTER STUFF TOMORROW, I SWEAR ON THE PRECIOUS.

1) Hillary Rodham Clinton

Great speech. Great suit. And we’re all glad you’re finally publicly committed to the unification of the Democratic Party. Good lookin’ out. But it’s really, really time to go home now. Party leaders have been beyond generous in their Clinton appeasement at this convention. Speaker after speaker has extolled your courage, your devotion to health care reform, and your remarkable 3 AM phone answering abilities. Remember how you only “suspended” your campaign without formally ending it? Tonight, your “troops” will be given the option of casting their votes for you during roll call. Beyond generous… and more than enough. Don’t get me wrong, Hillary – I have tremendous respect for you and all that you’ve accomplished (and I think your political future is far from over), but this hasn’t been your show for a while now. It’s Barack O’Clock. More?

It Is SO On

July 27, 2008

The Mets/Phillies rivalry can’t exactly compare to that which exists between Boston and New York but has grown in recent years to become something pretty exciting to watch. Press conference boasts, traded players, and hot-headed fans have all contributed to the mounting intensity felt when these two teams meet. Handled with care, rivalries can electrify a team and propel players toward new competitive heights. Guided by less than sure hands, well…

“They crossed the line.” “You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.” (more…)

Phils Are Straight OG

July 24, 2008

I’m rarely a “sports guy” in any real sense (ask me the rules of football) but my predilection for drama leads me inadvertently to root for a few teams who keep it real. Basketball teams. Football teams. When winter melts the cold streets of South Philly, though, and that unmistakable cheesesteak scent washes over the area, I know my favorite team is ready to do business. It’s Phillies season, baby. I would never claim ULTIMATE FAN status, but I’m no ignorant girlfriend at the park, either. I know lineups, depth charts, standings. Occasionally, despite my general fear of numbers, I manage to tuck in a few stats, too. What keeps me a Phillies fan more than athletic prowess, though, is their sense of heart and community. Will Edmondson will never admit to this, but it’s two things that keep them the winning (or tied) team they are:

  1. They’re not afraid to claim victory when they can smell it.
  2. They all actually like each other
Case in point:

… Yes, it’s retarded, but awesomely retarded. Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins, back-to-back NL MVPs spitting hot fire like The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, baseball kings in the City of Brotherly Love. And they’re having a good time; they’re clearly enjoying themselves. That’s why they’re successful. Mets fans, you can keep your Jose Reyes Spanish lessons (“mi brazo es un cañon!”) and general reggaeton bullshit. The pennant returns to the Illadelph in October.

One final word: Billy Wagner is a piece of shit.