Posts Tagged ‘Obama’

Even If You Don’t Understand, Buzzwords Will Make You Sound In-The-Know

June 8, 2010

The moment I knew the BP oil spill was serious was the first time I heard the term “top kill.” As an avid video game enthusiast, hearing the term during my morning commute tuned into KCRW, Los Angeles’ NPR affiliate, was like a shotgun firing down my spine. In my semi-delusional state (I’ve taken to drinking coffee after arriving at work to allow for maximum sleepage), the words top kill awoke me from fading away into the gray skies of the Angeleno dubbed June Gloom. But whereas I assumed NPR was reporting on the new HALO: REACH beta testing, I became aware of something much more life-threatening and pressing. Within hours, people around me were using the term as if it were the first words they’d ever spoken. “Oh well, sure the top kill could work but what about all those fish!”… “Dude, no way the top kill will be successful”… It was as if I had awoken from a dream in a post-apocalyptic, blood-currency wasteland where people were using terms of weaponry and violence as water-cooler talk. Despite having a vague understanding of what the term meant, I couldn’t shake the Mad Max and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 imagery from my mind.

This is classic of the media today, though. Whatever political pundit or news media doofus latched onto the term in a moment of elevated exasperation, the phrase was destined to become the talk of business meetings and lunchroom arguments alike. How many times in the last few years has the media created a term, or some government official spouted off a phrase that has become more than a viral video or internet meme, but an actual buzzword enveloped by the collective unconscious. People found themselves uttering the phrase, myself included, without warning or any effort to understand what it meant. A Google search results in mostly news articles but this gem is straight from the horse’s mouth: a jpeg diagram explaining the phrase from none other than BP. Click below to see bigger image.

Top Kill is an oil company operation, not the Hollywood re-boot of Top Gun

Of course the procedure didn’t work. With a name as buzzwordy as top kill it was never going to work. While I have yet to form any substantial opinion on the matters in the gulf, I do find it amusing that people use silly sounding explanations for things they don’t understand so quickly in this day and age. How can you not? If you sit at a computer with Facebook, Twitter, CNN, and The Huffington Post open in various tabs all day, it’s impossible to not succumb to it completely. I hope the government finds a solution soon though, or it will just become one more thing the Republicans can use against Obama next election [that they directly caused]. Just watch as Oil Spill is added to the list of Obama’s shortcomings including Failed War on Terror and Healthcare: all things that were created or failed under the guise of Republican foresight.

The Queen of England Celebrates April Fool’s Day at Our Expense at the G20 Conference

April 1, 2009
Taken Yesterday in Buckingham Palace

Taken Yesterday In Buckingham Palace

You’ve seen the Google tricks. You’ve noticed LF’s redecorating. Now behold the Queen mother of all pranks. In case you missed it, Prez Obama headed to the UK yesterday to rub elbows with the rest of the world’s greatest leaders to try to figure out the whole everyone-in-the-world-lost-their-job-and-savings-because-of-the-US thing. (Side note: Didn’t there used to be only 8 countries that mattered in the world… since when are there 20?! I mean I know Cuba’s been having a great year, but I don’t even know 20 people that I could trust with money, let alone 20 COUNTRIES!) But we didn’t elect no April’s Fool; the man came prepared. Obama ceremoniously presented the Queen with a SUPER special edition iPod: one with the yet to be released 2Pac comeback album and the entire Trick Daddy music video library video footage from her 2007 trip across the pond to America. Stacks on DECK, Barack… well played. But then the exchange turned volatile. CNN reports that the Queen then presented our commander in chief with “…a signed photograph of her and her husband, Prince Phillip, in a silver frame, her standard gift to foreign dignitaries.” Hey Obama: YOU JUST GOT PUNKED SON!

Keep reading!


January 20, 2009

jake_gyllenhaal_bubble_boy_002Big to-do in the capital today, I’m told, but my awareness of current events is muddled somewhat by the plastic bubble in which I’m encased. I didn’t tell you? I’m a Stage Five germaphobe and on the advice of my physician/therapist have spent the last five years of my life in a totally sterile environment. No human contact outside my parents; no physical activities except fogging (LMAO) the bubble and writing my name. That one’s fun. If you’re wondering how I was able to report on topics as diverse as Lost, Chuck, and 30 Rock these past few months it’s because scripted television is one of the few “normal” things I can really enjoy. Any other post written by “Henning” was more than likely fabricated by my dad, who takes dictation when I have something to say. Just once I’d like to touch his beard. I mean, if it weren’t so full of harmful bacteria.

More Bubblicious reflections after the jump!

Obama’s Presidential Victory, Now On Your Super Nintendo Game Console!

December 2, 2008


This was, of course, inevitable. After children’s books, songs by would-be “political” rappers (and friends!) and face-lifts for outdated American currency, it was only a matter of time before President-Elect Obama dipped his toe in the 16-bit pool. Enter “Super Obama World,” a platforming adventure starring everyone’s favorite 44th President of the United States. As in its predecessors, “Super Mario World” and “SMW 2: Clinton’s Island”,” the controls are relatively simple: run right, run left, jump. (Like Mario, Obama’s got ups.) Easy to play but hard to put down, this just-released game will quickly become your favorite antidote to workday depression.

More Obamania after the jump!

Has Bush Changed?

November 12, 2008

The other day I was sitting on the commode, checking AP Mobile News on my iPhone, and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I prefer AP News to other outlets because the stories always seem to maintain a level of objectivity that is lacking in other resources (i.e. this blog) (Editor’s note: that’s bullshit). The story I had stopped on was discussing current President Bush’s reflections on the ceremonial President-elect visit and tour of the White House. For the first time, in an indeterminable amount of time, I was reading about President Bush and things he was saying without clenched fists. I didn’t feel hot under the collar and my eyes weren’t rolling.  More enlightened opinionating continues here.


November 5, 2008

Did you guys see tonight’s episode of 90210?!?

KIDDING. I’ve been following the media blitz(er) as closely as any dutiful American and could not be happier typing, however little it’s really sunken in yet, the following words:

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America.

Wow. Now and only now does the below seem appropriate. Celebrate, people!

No No, AFTER He Graduates

September 4, 2008

Hey there, Upper West-Siders – Gossip Girl here bringing you the latest whispers from the political elite. Seems that Senators Obama and McCain will be making a surprising stop at fair Alma Mater next week, putting down their convention-tested weapons for a moment and speaking to a non-partisan crowd about public service. Anyone with a web browser knows that O is returning to old turf, but M’s no stranger, either – his daughter graduated from Columbia in 2007 and he himself spoke at Commencement in 2006. Will next Thursday’s speeches be cordial… or confrontational? You know what they say about familiarity… You know you love me.

Gossip Girl More?

Yes We Can

August 29, 2008

… A cop-out post to be sure, but who cares – I’m EXCITED for the future and proud as hell to be voting for Barack Obama and Joe Biden on November 4th. What a speech. What a night.