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Posts Tagged ‘New York Minute’

Making the Most of Hurricane Irene

August 26, 2011

We feel you, New York (and Friends). Not only did you suffer through an out-of-nowhere earthquake earlier in the week and learn of the demise of Derek Jeter’s relationship with the Sexiest Woman Alive, now you’re wrapped around the corner of Duane Reade waiting to buy cigarettes and paper towels in preparation for a potentially awful storm. Hurricane Irene, that bitch, is about to make your weekend miserable.

But the benefit of sunny, uppers-fueled Los Angeles living has seen the Weather Tracking team at Lifting Fog working hard to think of fun solutions to your impending doldrums. Our first thought — “movies to watch” — was already written up by Videogum. Then Thought Catalog went ahead and compiled a handy 20-something survival guide. “What’s left to say?” we thought. “What can we offer that the other guys can’t?” Then we really dug deep — considered the skills and perspective we alone possess, that we might bestow on our readers — and figured it out: dumb videos held together by the lightest possible editorial. And so without further preamble, we arrive at our Way to Make the Most of Hurricane Irene: go hurricane surfing or something.

Keep reading!

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Live-Tweeting the Apocalypse

July 26, 2009

Floodfest2009 (House)

We’ve been dancing this dance for over a year now, guys (happy 1st anniversary, btw!), so you know pretty well by now that I’m a veritable bottomless pit of imaginative excuses. I’ve got material for every occasion, like:

Holiday laziness!

To explain my month-long vacation from Lifting Fog (shorter than the last one by two weeks!) would mean painful recollections of Russian Roulette tournaments, extraterrestrial probing, and drug addiction… (Jan. 15, 2009)

Seasonal affective disorder!

…undergoing radical eyebrow surgery, or doing missionary work in Zambia, or taking the LSATs (Oct. 17, 2008)

Indecisive feelings on a movie I desperately wanted to like!

One week later I sat down to watch the movie again, this time in IMAX. It seemed right to offer Watchmen, a film so unavoidably tangled in decades of hype and expectation, a second chance. (Mar. 31, 2009)

My dedication to time-sensitive blogging is the stuff that wins lifetime achievement awards. But two weeks ago, I was finally afforded a LEGITIMATE reason not to blog when my apartment — a three-bedroom pre-war in Hamilton Heights — started drowning in dirty pipe water. Ceilings caving in. Hallways flooding. THE APOCALYPSE, FAM. This being 2009, though, and my priorities being well-organized…I was able to tweet the whole rusty mess.

Twitter Apocalypse Floodfest2009

Won’t you join in the fun?

The Great NYC Burger Tour: Prologue

April 1, 2009

Eons ago, when the very sky was but a thought and the astral plane black, enveloping, God gave shape to the first cheeseburger – a succulent beef patty housed in a toasted bun and garnished with one of a variety of cheeses. “Chaisse-Bergord,” He called it, after his favorite Supernova. Like thunderbolts he thrust on this form lettuce, tomato, onions, and ketchup, rendering His creation a portable slice of heaven. (He had recently invented portability, too.) Fries and a coke? Yea, a backup choir of angels.

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Not content to merely bestow upon man, another of His creations, the cheeseburger to which He had so awesomely given life, God deigned His most favorite culinary delight in the shape of recipes and oral traditions diffused over endless earth. No burger shaped by man, ignorant of the cosmic dance above, would match His for vitality and joy; for splendor and juiciness. Should one by chance replicate that which was birthed in the Heavens, well… that was not going to happen. No, man could not conjure such a burger.

OR COULD HE?

The search for that most perfect of burgers begins anon…

“But Where’s The [Shamrock Shake] Gone?”

March 17, 2009

You spent all last night preparing, filling flasks of Jameson and carefully memorizing a few Dropkick Murphys songs. And now the big day is here, its arrival heralded by parades and GREEN, EVERYWHERE GREEN. Happy St. Paddy’s 2009!

shamrock

But not all is right today. One of the Emerald Isle’s most famous exports, the Shamrock Shake, is woefully out of reach in the City of New York. According to a Gothamist article dated 3/16/07, it has been for over two years. I LIVE in that city; I LOVE those shakes. I can think of no sadder revelation on what is supposed to be the happiest day of the year.

More green-dyed eulogizing after the jump!

In Like A Lion…

March 2, 2009

It might be 65 degrees today in DJ Steve’s part of the country (it might also be 7 AM), but here in the Big Apple we’re sitting under a heavy blanket of snow. Three weeks from the official start of spring and we’ve been hit with the biggest snowfall of the season, closing public schools for the day (Dalton kids will be helicoptered in) and causing plenty of transportation delays. Consider my full day of doing nothing totally justified!

PS – Contrary to what we I posted last week, Lifting Fog will not, in fact, be observing Lent. As hedonists of the highest order, it would be positively futile for us to attempt abstinence of any kind. We’re with Bristol Palin – it’s just not realistic.

When Worlds Collide

February 24, 2009

two1Contrary to what Mickey Rourke might tell you, certain aspects of our lives were meant to stay partitioned. Religious faith and scientific understanding. “Grazneth, Level 70 Dark Mage” and “Todd, C.P.A.” And who hasn’t heard “don’t bring your work home!” from their wife, am I right? We keep things in their appropriate boxes in order to maintain some level of order and control in our lives. In order to stay relatively sane. So what happens when those boxes spill over?

The stage: Brooklyn. The scene: The Levee. It’s 1 AM or so on Sunday morning and, anticipating the 3 hour trip back to Manhattan, my friends and I have started walking over to Bedford Avenue and the subway stop. On the way, though, I spot a face out of the corner of my eye that makes me pause. It looks familiar… but not “hey! Don’t I know you?” familiar. No – this is a more unsettling, “I never thought this would happen” familiar. This is “random Facebook friend” familiar.

I KNOW. Read all about it after the jump!

Adventures in Adult Education

January 15, 2009

I am always, always trying to better myself. Or at least I have been since Tuesday, when I began to take serious stock of my taunting list of New Year’s resolutions. It’s an ambitious package: weight loss, moral refinement, apologies (so many apologies), washing bedsheets. I feel for Obama when I realize none of this will be accomplished within the span of four years. But perhaps futilely, I’m determined to make at least a little headway in my quest to become “the best Henning possible.”™ Up first? Gettin’ educated.

joemontygradWhile they’re probably teaching Sex Ed earlier and earlier these days, it’s still a lie to claim “all we really need to know we learned in kindergarten.” I get the allegory – we should all share, be kind, and use restrooms. I support all those things. But to borrow another t-shirt-approved cliche, “learning is a lifelong process.” Brains new and old should be regularly stimulated, given something to do. That’s why we have Sudoku! Reader’s Digest! According to the degree framed delicately as a flower in my bedroom, I have been educated at the collegiate level. (I know, thanks!) But have I learned all I need to know? Can Bible Theory really help me do my taxes? There’s gotta be some room left upstairs. It was in this spirit of continued education that I recently sat in on an introductory class at the Gotham Writers’ Workshop.

Join the edu-taining fun!

Vampire Weekend Named Most Successful Columbia Alumni… Ever

November 24, 2008

Yes it’s true, Vampire Weekend have ascended to Ivy League greatness, not unlike Rivers Cuomo and Matt Damon (Harvard men, almost). Why is it always the most successful graduates of Ivy League schools are entertainers? Because they’re smarter. Duh. Vampire Weekend have clawed their way into the hearts and minds of even the most precocious middle school gossip circles as early as last summer. Even people who digest indie music faster than L. Lo goes through sexual preferences have paused for a moment to enjoy their debut (and still current album) of the same name.

Their featherlight pop stylings have caused a new craze in America: jumping on indie rock band wagons as soon as Stereogum covers them in a sentence-long blurb. But the Weekend has got the chops to back it all up. Just the other day I was watching MTV’s Woodie Awards on Palladia and I got the chance to see the Vamps plowing through “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance” with the help of Chromeo! They really are the most successful alumni Columbia has ever produced (I hadn’t heard of any of these no-names, WTF). But what’s the secret behind VW’s domination? Just ask Lifting Fog Editor-in-Chief what they’re smoking over at Columbia and maybe you too can gave a band hyped-to-success by Stereogum and Pitchfork.

Things That Happened In The Past Six Weeks, Part 7

November 19, 2008

After Steve’s lovely ode to John Lennon and the age of activism in music, I thought it only appropriate to take my post in a completely opposing direction. Quiet reflection? Sensitivity? Only when I drink. Instead I offer Part 7 of the seemingly endless “Things That Happened in the Past Five Six Weeks” saga, today the story of my baptism into the New York City driving community. No tissues or peace signs needed here, just a taste for the absurd. I promise* to keep it short.

7) I Learned to Drive in NYC

chitty1While currently counting food stamps on the unemployment line with my friends, there was a time not long ago when I did hold a job. Not a staggeringly fun job, or all that fulfilling, but something that kept me off the streets (and from referring to vendor hot dogs as “luxury items”). For three months, I was the Assistant to the Coach of Columbia Men’s Swimming. The job covered more ground than might be expected; from coaching (obviously) to filing, teaching, recruiting, and networking, I was asked to be a chlorinated Renaissance man. Me being me, of course, I tackled every request or assignment with trademark panache. Everything, that is, except driving. Cue ominous music.

Geeks, Nerds, and Henning Unite: MTV Seeks Fan Boy/Girl For True Life

November 10, 2008

It seems the wet dream of Lifting Fog’s Editor-in-Chief has finally come to fruition. MTV set up this website to provide every comic book geek with a chance to be a (MTV reality show) celebrity.  One of MTV’s least offensive reality offerings, True Life, is seeking its next cast member: a self-proclaimed fan boy or girl to pal around with their camera crew for the weekend of February 6-8th, 2009. What’s going on the weekend of the 6th in New York City? Why, it’s only Comic Con 2009, sure to whet the appetite of even the most casual reader of Ain’t It Cool News. From the basements of the suburbs, I hear “Finally I can be somebody, Mom!” For more info, and even more True Life casting calls, go here. Maybe you can fit yourself into any number of possible roles for MTV to exploit!