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Posts Tagged ‘Movie Recommendations’

Haiku Review: ‘Columbus’

December 27, 2017

It’s that post-Christmas-pre-New Years holiday stretch, which means you need safe but solid movies to burn through with relatives. Are they tired of ‘Guardians of the Galaxy 2’? Do they like the most *gentle* of gentle coming-of age dramas? Then BOY have I got a staff pick for you.

Columbus posterArchitecture buffs
Look at some buildings, bone once
Sounds bad but it’s not!

A note before we really dive in here: ‘Columbus’ is a tedious movie. Let’s be super-clear about that upfront! It’s not boring, which would imply disinterest. But baked into the DNA of this relatively doable 105 minute (which easily feel like 170) movie is this “take your time” philosophy that, if you’re not onboard, may put you right to sleep. But this is sort of the point? (Editor’s note: GREAT REVIEW ALREADY, HENDOG.) What I’m trying to say is 1) the tedium feels pretty deliberate 2) it’s hardly a bad thing and 3) it may actually be the most powerful thing about this movie. Beauty in tedium! In an era where everything happens now, yesterday, that’s sort of nice.

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Liked “Deep Impact”? Try “Deep Throat”!

February 11, 2009

Everyone with an Internet connection and a mailing address has a Netflix account. I mean everyone with an Internet connection has a Netflix account. I mean everyone has a Netflix account.

I Don't Get It, Either.

Don't worry, I don't get it, either.

Of course more often than not, the jump from old-school rentals (remember Blockbuster?) to Netflix’s program of instant gratification just means you watch more bad movies than usual. You really liked watching Enchanted with your family, so you figured A Cinderella Story would be a solid follow-up. From there you followed more Netflix recommendations, jumping deeper down the princess rabbit hole. Oops. Pretty soon your wife’s left you and your sons want to be costume designers. Oh, and you’ve lost your job (the economy). Thanks, Netflix!

While Netflix has a staggering library of titles to choose from, their recommendation algorithms (I don’t know what this is) are woefully ill-equipped to offer follow-up movie recommendations. Titles are lumped together based almost entirely on superficial criteria  like subject (“babies,” “America”) and casting similarities, not more nuanced considerations like tone, cinematography, or even genre. I sound like a douchebag, I know, but these things are important. You don’t want to be a f*cking plebeian for the rest of your life, do you? I need a cigarette.

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