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Posts Tagged ‘Hypothetical Situations’

Hypothetical Scenarios in Which I Meet and then Marry Hayley Williams: #1 – Perfect Harmony

August 1, 2009

In honor of seeing Paramore open for No Doubt last night in Irvine at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, I figured now would be a good time to kick off a reoccurring post motif in which I imagine a hypothetical scenario resulting in the marriage of the lead singer of Paramore and myself. This should come as no surprise, as I took the time way back when to point out my deep appreciation for the band and my malicious desire to derail the band through the existence of my future relationship with her. Last night Paramore truly rocked it. Despite being so far away that one of my friends thought that Williams was a toddler dancing around on stage, the music came through strong enough, even if the visual delay of the musicians was nearing a full, mind-altering second. The new songs sounded great and I can’t wait to wait in line with the rest of the Tweens on September 29th to cop the new disc. So here goes, this is scenario number 1:

Five years from now I am playing in a band and back from a long North American tour. Williams and I cross paths in between my set at the Troubadour in West Hollywood. We exchange only a smile and a head nod. One year later we are both attending a concert and while backstage, we end up in a tightly packed hallway. Williams remarks to me, “Hey, I really dig your stuff!” at which point I respond by saying, “What a coincidence, I really dig your stuff too.” (Note: no exclamation point in my response. Even under the most titillating of circumstances it’s necessary to play it cool). We exchange phone numbers. Two days later I call her to invite her to my 2nd recording studio located in my house in the Hollywood Hills to collaborate. She agrees. We fall in love. We get married.

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The Day the Earth Stood Still Hasn’t Convinced Me That The Aliens Are Coming

December 5, 2008

For those of you who know me personally, and perhaps some of those who don’t, I tend to think and communicate in the hypothetical. Despite my roommates’ best attempts to tune me out during an average television viewing session, I am always proposing questions to provoke “intelligent” discussion. I’d like to think of myself as a modern day Nathaniel Hawthorne; questioning my surroundings and looking to expose the complexities of human morality. For some reason, people don’t usually interpret questions like “If you could sleep with Michelle Pfeiffer now or ten years ago, which would you pick?” as Nathaniel Hawthorne-esque, but I always do. WTF am I talking about? Sometimes I don’t even know.

Let’s find out together. Read on!