Posts Tagged ‘Election’

Election 2020: Take it from Me, a Fly — Pence is Full of Shit

October 8, 2020

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH — In last night’s VP Debate, you saw Vice President Mike Pence square off against California Senator Kamala Harris. You may have also seen me, the six-legged fellow gallivanting around Pence’s forehead. Hi! My name’s Duncan, I’m a fly, and I’m eager to tell you a little about myself and my take on this whole crazy election.

Keep reading!

Things That Happened In The Last Five Weeks, Part 4

November 7, 2008

4) Three-Time Academy Award Nominee Laura Linney Told Me Not to Vote and I Almost Listened

A record 133 million Americans voted in this year’s Presidential election. 133 million – huge. That’s over 60% of our country’s citizens who got off the couch and, taking that old MTA adage to heart, saw something and said something. Even factoring in a steadily increasing population (which gives the record a bit of a Titanic quality) that’s a bona fide big number. You saw the people in line at your polling place, right? Amazing. That’s why I’m slightly ashamed to admit I almost wasn’t one of them.

Don’t keep reading.


November 5, 2008

Did you guys see tonight’s episode of 90210?!?

KIDDING. I’ve been following the media blitz(er) as closely as any dutiful American and could not be happier typing, however little it’s really sunken in yet, the following words:

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America.

Wow. Now and only now does the below seem appropriate. Celebrate, people!

Decision 2008: Calrissian vs. Palpatine

November 4, 2008

It looks like a video player, doesn't it?

It looks like a video player, doesn't it? Click to see the image move.

Apparently, even elections in galaxies far, far away suffer through brutal campaign seasons.

Not much of a debate here if you ask me: while technically “inexperienced” in the realm of galactic politics, General Calrissian (yes, he served in the military) comes with undeniable charisma, a strong advising staff, and documented success in community organizing. Claims that his ties to radical friends may compromise his judgment are patently ludicrous. He is more than qualified to lead. Senator Palpatine, well, he called for the eradication of the Jedi. Plus he’s just OLD.

Calrissian-Chewbacca ’08!

(Editor’s Note: I don’t think Senator John McCain bears any resemblance, in image or disposition, to Senator/Emperor Palpatine. Those who would claim that he does – or would top that with comparisons to Mussolini, Stalin, or Hitler – are out of their f*cking minds. Calm down, people.)

Do It For The Free Shit

November 4, 2008

American readers (sorry, Avi),

voting-booth-51Today is arguably one of the most important elections in the history of our country. After eight years of failed leadership (yes, you’ve read that line about five hundred times before), it’s time to elect a President with the competence and strength of character to restore America to a place of worthiness. In my opinion, that’s Barack Obama. You may feel differently. Either way, let someone know*! If ever there was a time to exercise your democratic responsibilities, it’s now. Need incentive?

– Starbucks is offering free cups of tall coffee to everyone sporting an “I Voted” sticker
– Krispy Kreme has special star-shaped donuts ready for those with, again, an “I Voted” sticker
– Between 5 and 8 PM, Ben and Jerry’s is giving away free scoops of ice cream to anyone who claims to have voted. You can even lie (but don’t)! Democracy!

Vote early, vote often, just

vote-button* like, at a polling place.

I’m Voting ‘Yes!’ On Prop 141: Listening to Explosions in the Sky Should Be Mandatory For All Citizens

October 24, 2008
Listening to Explosions in the Sky will change your lifeListening to Explosions in the Sky will change your life

As the busy days of the election rapidly approach, it’s important to remember the issues. I’m not referring to Sarah Palin’s alleged clothing budget (seriously Democrats, let it go – no amount of blogging and SNL joke-writing will force it into the public consciousness). I want to bring attention to a much overlooked proposition that pertains to the well being of all U.S. citizens. Proposition 141 states that it should be mandatory that all citizens listen to the band Explosions in the Sky, everyday. You might be scratching your head, thinking, “Hey, I read plenty of neo-conservative political blogs and I’ve never even heard of Prop 141.” I can’t blame you as it’s something I’ve just drafted tonight. Lifting Fog is progressive! Read more!