Posts Tagged ‘Democracy’

Do It For The Free Shit

November 4, 2008

American readers (sorry, Avi),

voting-booth-51Today is arguably one of the most important elections in the history of our country. After eight years of failed leadership (yes, you’ve read that line about five hundred times before), it’s time to elect a President with the competence and strength of character to restore America to a place of worthiness. In my opinion, that’s Barack Obama. You may feel differently. Either way, let someone know*! If ever there was a time to exercise your democratic responsibilities, it’s now. Need incentive?

– Starbucks is offering free cups of tall coffee to everyone sporting an “I Voted” sticker
– Krispy Kreme has special star-shaped donuts ready for those with, again, an “I Voted” sticker
– Between 5 and 8 PM, Ben and Jerry’s is giving away free scoops of ice cream to anyone who claims to have voted. You can even lie (but don’t)! Democracy!

Vote early, vote often, just

vote-button* like, at a polling place.

No No, AFTER He Graduates

September 4, 2008

Hey there, Upper West-Siders – Gossip Girl here bringing you the latest whispers from the political elite. Seems that Senators Obama and McCain will be making a surprising stop at fair Alma Mater next week, putting down their convention-tested weapons for a moment and speaking to a non-partisan crowd about public service. Anyone with a web browser knows that O is returning to old turf, but M’s no stranger, either – his daughter graduated from Columbia in 2007 and he himself spoke at Commencement in 2006. Will next Thursday’s speeches be cordial… or confrontational? You know what they say about familiarity… You know you love me.

Gossip Girl More?

Coincidence? I Think Not.

August 30, 2008

Everyone says that John McCain went with Sarah Palin in order to capture the women’s vote and possibly lure disgruntled psycho Hilldog supporters over to the right. That sounds accurate on paper, but I know better. Determined to capture the Henning Fog vote, the Republican presidential nominee has chosen as his running mate a woman who bears a striking resemblance to 30 Rock mastermind and bona fide babe Tina Fey. See for yourself!

But I won’t waver. She may be a Baberham Lincoln with her trim figure and fresh up-do. She may be a surprisingly forceful speaker. She may once have been the head writer for Saturday Night Live in a parallel dimension. No – sigh – no matter. However appealing, I’m not going to let a pair of librarian’s glasses determine my vote.  Sorry, McCain – your sneaky tactics won’t work on me. But what a bastard!

Yes We Can

August 29, 2008

… A cop-out post to be sure, but who cares – I’m EXCITED for the future and proud as hell to be voting for Barack Obama and Joe Biden on November 4th. What a speech. What a night.

“Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son”

August 28, 2008

… Guess that guy didn’t get the memo. In an exquisite (if slightly dated – sorry!) photo report, Gawker shows that George W. Bush, expert back-slapper and 43rd President of the United States of America, still knows how to party his red, white, and blue balls off. And this was only during competition! $100 says he really did do a keg stand with Shawn Johnson after the All-Around.

Thanks to Mark Krotov for the link. God Bless America!

"George, it's - you know what, forget it."

Potpourri (1 of 2)

August 27, 2008

I apologize in advance for the randomness of what you’re about to read (although maybe you won’t now!). This may well be the most incoherent post I’ve yet written, but my mind’s in a million places right now and to attempt to wax philosophical on any one subject would be futile. Hillary. Phillies. Olympic Village sex. Kid Rock. This one’s random access like woah, so hold onto the belt of the kid in front of you as you prepare to read. BETTER STUFF TOMORROW, I SWEAR ON THE PRECIOUS.

1) Hillary Rodham Clinton

Great speech. Great suit. And we’re all glad you’re finally publicly committed to the unification of the Democratic Party. Good lookin’ out. But it’s really, really time to go home now. Party leaders have been beyond generous in their Clinton appeasement at this convention. Speaker after speaker has extolled your courage, your devotion to health care reform, and your remarkable 3 AM phone answering abilities. Remember how you only “suspended” your campaign without formally ending it? Tonight, your “troops” will be given the option of casting their votes for you during roll call. Beyond generous… and more than enough. Don’t get me wrong, Hillary – I have tremendous respect for you and all that you’ve accomplished (and I think your political future is far from over), but this hasn’t been your show for a while now. It’s Barack O’Clock. More?