Posts Tagged ‘Death of Culture’

Checking In on the Very Real ‘Candyland’ Movie

May 24, 2011

There was a time not long ago, say 2008, when despite the continued existence of goodness assassin Michael Bay, jokes about Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy were still sort of funny. I mean, they wouldn’t really make a Candyland movie. No way! Even the least artistically-minded schlock-king in Hollywood (read: whoever made Beverly Hills Chihuahua, a name I refuse to look up) would turn up his nose at the prospect of “adapting” a board game designed for three- and four-year-olds, with characters like “Lord Licorice,” into a movie of ANY stripe. It’s too dumb; spits on the graves of cinema’s pioneers with maybe too much malice. Three years ago, we could still laugh at the utter ridiculousness of the possibility. Hahahahaha!

The time for laughter is OVER. Candyland is now a very real movie, being written with very real words. Rapture false alarms be damned, we are clearly in for a very real End of Days.

The Apocalypse illuminated, after the jump!

Somebody Kill Me, Please

November 13, 2008

51oefox6a8l_ss500_Hot on the heels of yesterday’s board game bonanza comes my belated discovery of what may be the most blasphemous musical project ever conceived: “Nightmare Revisited,” featuring covers of songs from Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas. Somewhere, Danny Elfman is crying.

For those of you unfamiliar with the film, Nightmare tells the story of Jack Skellington, a denizen of Halloween Town tired of celebrating the same holiday (guess which one) again and again. Stumbling through a portal into Christmas Town, he finds his skeleton mojo rejuvenated and sets out to introduce a new holiday (…) to his friends and neighbors. Problems arise. Dramatic complications ensue. Needless to say things all work out in the end.

Nightmare is a great movie and fondly remembered touchstone of my childhood. And we Fogs were on board from day one, immediately buying the soundtrack and seeing it twice more (disturbingly on Thanksgiving, for some reason) in the fall of 1993. I can say with confidence that at the time, most people found the movie off-putting or avoided it entirely. Fifteen years later? It’s considered a “cult classic,” serves as the bedrock of Hot Topic’s business, and has become the seasonal focus of a re-tooled Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. Those I can tolerate, begrudgingly. But this “Revisited” business makes me teary-eyed. It makes me sick.

Upchuck after the jump!