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Posts Tagged ‘Crazy’

…On the Other Hand, We All Need a Major Time-Out

November 29, 2011

The holiday shopping season (as distinct from the shopping-less “holiday season,” which is about stupid things like “family”) has two faces. One is the wacky, Schwarzenegger-punching-a-reindeer side:

And then there’s this:

Across the country last Friday, competitive shoppers of all stripes braved cold, sleep deprivation, and any sense of personal pride to bust down the doors of big box commerce. In this case “bust down” can be used literally, as Friday was BLACK Friday: the one day a year where doors are obstacles, shopping carts weapons, and your only allegiance to an Old Testament, dual-core processor God. It’s a fun party!

That is until an older man dies of a heart attack and a crazy lady pepper-sprays 20 people in the faceAt most parties you dread the moment the cops arrive, but on Black Friday you keep asking when they’ll show up. You’re down on Wall Street and on college campuses roughing up peaceful activists? We could REALLY USE YOU IN ALL THE WAL-MARTS.

Keep reading!

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“Legos on Acid” or “What have you done that’s so great?”

August 25, 2009

Fifty years ago families would sit in front of the radio, once a day, for their news and entertainment. Correspondence with friends and relatives might take days or weeks, a properly crafted letter the primary form of communication. TV dinners didn’t exist, because TVs weren’t yet in mass production and the microwave had not even been conceived. It was a slower, simpler time.

Today we can order Chipotle from our cell phones, which makes the unimaginably exhausting work put into the video below all the more incredible:

Whaaaaaattt??!?!? According to his YouTube page, this Lego tribute to 8-bit games* (and Legos) took creator Thomas Redigh around 1500 hours to construct and shoot. That’s two full months of work, guys! Save for crying about stuff like this, I have never been so dedicated to anything in my life. Leave it to the Swedes to show the rest of us (even fellow Scandinavians) how lazy we all are.

* At some point I might have asked “If I’m devoting the better part of my time and energy to this project, shouldn’t I have chosen a more fulfilling subject than videogames?” but I digress.

Burger King Encourages Americans To Get Fat, Lose Friends

January 13, 2009

medicine_eatstation_eating-702002The King has gone bloody mad.

Hot on the heels of its “Whopper Virgins” initiative (which has been simultaneously labeled “culturally insensitive” and “hilarious”), Burger King recently launched a new promotion that’s just as absurd. “Whopper Sacrifice” is a Facebook application that combines the joys of unhealthy eating with antisocial behavior, asking users to delete or “sacrifice” their friends in exchange for a free Whopper. Sacrifice? Mel Gibson wishes he had thought of this while promoting Apocalypto.

Some people think this latest bipolar decree from the King is offensive and “undermines the whole idea of Facebook marketing as a constructive viral force,” but some people have never been on Facebook. As anyone under the age of 25 can tell you, there’s a world of difference between friends on social networking sites and those of a more flesh and blood persuasion. The definition of “friend” online stretches far beyond “person with whom one shares mutual affection” to include “enemy,” “former babysitter,” and “I don’t know this person” among countless other permutations. Example: I’m friends with a guy named Koz Collateral whose favorite movie is Scarface and whose hobbies include “cappin’ bitches JK” and “ridin'”. I haven’t been interested in ridin’ for about three years. Facebook friends are friends insofar as they’ve checked the box that says so. (Don’t tell Koz.)

Point is, most Facebook users probably have at LEAST ten people they’d be more than happy to de-friend/sacrifice. We’ve all thought about it, avoiding the act because we’re totally insecure and desperate for friends, fake or otherwise out of laziness. But now? There’s a meaty reward for tossing the bastards overboard. It may say “I value a moderately priced cheeseburger over you,” (to which the funny ex-friend might reply “have it your way! LOL”) but it does so with style to spare. Plus the recession…

(Thanks to Tian Xie for pointing out the website!)