Posts Tagged ‘Columbia’

Henning vs. Copyright Law

November 7, 2008


It took them long enough. After half a decade spent illegally downloading television shows and movies on P2P networks through BitTorrent and LimeWire, it was inevitable that at some point all of my illicit activities would catch up with me. Whether in the form of a late night raid or a midday kidnapping, I fully expected some level of repercussion. I’m a bad dude; bad dudes get what’s comin’ to ’em. Fingered by my alma mater last Thursday, I finally got mine. Which is to say a warning. Read on!

No No, AFTER He Graduates

September 4, 2008

Hey there, Upper West-Siders – Gossip Girl here bringing you the latest whispers from the political elite. Seems that Senators Obama and McCain will be making a surprising stop at fair Alma Mater next week, putting down their convention-tested weapons for a moment and speaking to a non-partisan crowd about public service. Anyone with a web browser knows that O is returning to old turf, but M’s no stranger, either – his daughter graduated from Columbia in 2007 and he himself spoke at Commencement in 2006. Will next Thursday’s speeches be cordial… or confrontational? You know what they say about familiarity… You know you love me.

Gossip Girl More?

Gag Me

August 26, 2008

I’m making a promise right now that my next post will not judge, criticize, or malign any of my fellow human beings. Maybe I’ll write about unicorns or Tom Hanks or something else impossible not to like. Or link to LOLCats. I’m pushing for positivity, I swear.

But that’s tomorrow. When you’re slapped in the face with something so pretentious, so mired in self-importance, it’s imperative that a retaliatory strike be made immediately and with utmost prejudice. I shouldn’t be reading the Columbia Spectator anymore, I know. It’s masochistic. But like a roadside wreck, sometimes you just can’t look away. Want to see the fiery mess? Read “A Film Buff’s Guide To The 1 Train,” specifically those sections written by Dan D’Addario, then join me in a therapeutic retch-fest. Onward!

R.I.P. Kim’s

August 3, 2008

Kim’s Mediapolis, meeting ground for Converse All-Stars of all colors, will be closing its French (New Wave) doors for good within the next month. Just “Kim’s” for those in the know, this video store was a Columbia institution – a place every student has been to at least once. It’s also a place every student has been criticized at least once. Below, a fondly recalled exchange from my freshman year:

“Do you guys have Boogie Nights? I couldn’t find it in the racks.”
“Hmm, let me think. Did you try looking under ‘P.T. Anderson’? That might be a good place to start, yeah?” More smug sarcasm after the jump!

There Won’t Be Blood

July 20, 2008

blood-dropOnly I could manage to turn an intended act of generosity completely on its head. Last Monday I went into Columbia’s Roone Arledge Auditorium expecting to give blood; I left with all the appropriate markings (a week later my arm still hosts 7-8 clearly visible stab wounds) and sense of loss, but my plasma tank still nearly full. Maybe it was the technicians they had working. Maybe I do in fact have “deep veins” that require shovel-like motions to find. Either way, I felt bad drinking their juice boxes afterwards.

Given a successful blood-letting in the fall, I wasn’t expecting any sort of problem when I threw myself onto one of their makeshift medical chairs and started squeezing. Ouch. The needle entered my right arm; I chuckled to show the nurse how tough I was. Soon enough they were able to determine that no blood was, in fact, leaving my arm, and my technician decided a second attempt was in order. Fuck. Needle out. God dammit. Needle in, millimeters from the first spot. Still no red stuff flowing, but the woman watching me has developed a sort of vendetta against my arm and begins to use all her digital dexterity to “find that fuckin’ vein.” No such luck. (more…)