Posts Tagged ‘2008 Summer Olympics’

“Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son”

August 28, 2008

… Guess that guy didn’t get the memo. In an exquisite (if slightly dated – sorry!) photo report, Gawker shows that George W. Bush, expert back-slapper and 43rd President of the United States of America, still knows how to party his red, white, and blue balls off. And this was only during competition! $100 says he really did do a keg stand with Shawn Johnson after the All-Around.

Thanks to Mark Krotov for the link. God Bless America!

"George, it's - you know what, forget it."

Potpourri (2 of 2)

August 28, 2008

More free association, this time around post-competition whoopie in the now empty Olympic Village and the crowning of that perfect Summer ’08 jam. Keep your arms and legs close to your body as you tumble further down the rabbit hole of my mind – it only gets weirder from here.

1) “You Sure You’re 16?” “Beijing Boom-Boom”

“Usain Bolt, you’ve just run the fastest 100m and 200m sprints in recorded history! What are you going to do now?” “I’m heading back to the Village and grabbing, like, 45 condoms. Then I’m going to have sex for two days!” “Heh-heh. But, uh, Disney World later – right, Thunder Bolt?” “If I can stand up straight. Really, I’ve got a pretty full schedule.” Honesty… pass it on. According to Matthew Syed of the London Times, the Olympic Village is a sex-fest on par with the naughtiest scenes in Caligula or Planet Earth. It makes sense. After months of carefully tuning their bodies for peak performance, athletes’ libidos are out of control. These are beautiful people, too (or at the very least, butterfaces or butHISfaces), marble sculpted men and women in the best shape of their lives. In an enclosed space. Far from home.

A swinging explosion is inevitable. More?

U.S. Track Sprinters: Olympic Sad Sacks

August 22, 2008

Good grief. In an Olympics where some things have gone so right for the United States (Michael Phelps’ unprecedented EIGHT GOLD MEDALS; Nastia Liukin’s and Shawn Johnson’s back and forth winning performances; Beach Volleyball SWEEP) it’s inevitable that some things would go, well, so wrong. The track team – specifically the sprinters – has borne the brunt of this shitty luck, best exemplified by tonight’s semis disqualification of both the men’s and women’s 4x100m relays. Each team was on to pace to advance to the finals until the last leg, when shoddy fundamentals sent their batons falling to the ground. Said women’s anchor Lauryn Williams, “maybe somebody somewhere has a voodoo doll on the United States.” I’m no astute judge of Track & Field, but everything I’ve read suggests their disqualifications were entirely avoidable; caused by mistakes you correct in high school. Still, you can’t help but feel sorry for a team just having a series of bad days. More?

NY Times Says Phelps More Horse Than Man

August 13, 2008


He can and will eat your children.

He can and will eat your children.

People claim he’s from the future. That his body is the closest thing to a perfect swimming machine ever conceived. In the last two days, I’ve told friends that he’s “less a mortal being than a god on Mt. Olympus” and “someone who defies my (admittedly weak) understanding of physics.” The general sense is that Michael Phelps has graduated to a league entirely his own; that he can no longer be compared to any human athlete, alive or dead. The New York Times decided to kind of run with that idea. Read how after the jump!