You know what I’m going to miss most about Lifting Fog? Beautiful crap like this.
Just before dusk on Sunday evening, the sun shedding its last rays on what had been a stunning spring day, a family pulled into the drive-thru of an Augusta McDonald’s. They were eager for burgers and fries and maybe Shamrock Shakes, too, if the kids had done especially well at their soccer game. (“We’ll see!” Dad responded when they all pleaded from the backseat.) Fast food was a fun treat, a once-in-a-while meal. What the hey — it had been a great afternoon.
The family was hungry, and ordered quickly. Dad drove to the next window. “What do you think might happen on ‘Once Upon a Time’ tonight?” Mom asked. They had a few minutes before the dedicated kitchen staff would have everything ready. But before that final transaction could take place…before McNuggets could be placed in appropriate hand…CHAOS.
Out of nowhere, an unidentified man threaded his way between their car and the drive-thru window and — with a misplaced bravery Lifting Fog can only call “the best” — absconded with their food. Not even looking back to survey his crime, the thief kept running, running…while the family was left to sit there, dumbfounded, and no less hungry than they had been 2-3 minutes before.
McDonald’s, of course, replaced the family’s meal in another 2-3 minutes. And police caught up with their burger assailant at a nearby Arby’s parking lot, where he “swore at them” and ran off once more, this time into the woods. Stories resolve themselves; people move on with their lives. But one thing is certain: no one would ever forget the Hamburglar of Augusta, ME, and his greatest-ever heist.