Lifting Fog

While our up-to-the-minute fast food coverage at Lifting Fog is usually burger-focused — with a special eye toward “consumer insanity” — every so often we like to put down the beef and examine some other industry staples, i.e. tacos or chicken. Today’s story is not about tacos.

On Thursday morning a brand new Chick-fil-A restaurant opened in Hollywood, USA — only the seventh franchise in the Los Angeles area, and a gleaming beacon of hope to chicken lovers who also happen to be Lakers fans. Coupons good for a year’s worth of free chicken sweetened the deal for the nearly 200 people waiting in line, who started camping out Wednesday morning. Asked what they would do with 365 days of chicken sandwiches, customers could only point to the nearest hospital and say “food.” It was that kind of crowd.

But back to the question at hand: why’s everyone losing their freakin’ minds? The coupon component makes sense — they’re coupons; it’s free food. Understood! But the sandwiches themselves…I mean correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they sell the same basic item at McDonald’s? Wendy’s? Etc.? Five Guys is a chain to go nuts over. WAWA is a chain to go nuts over. But Chick-fil-A seems an underwhelming star to hitch your wagon to.

…And that’s forgetting entirely about the SECOND reading of the question, which is that lost in all the chicken excitement is some pretty unsavory news: Chick-fil-A, for whatever reason, is REALLY NOT A FAN OF GAYS.

Or let’s backtrack. Chick-fil-A, as a brand, is happy to feed people of whatever sexual orientation so long as they pay and don’t try to eat on Sunday. But some organizations they’ve donated to in the past — and we’re talking sizable donations — aren’t quite so gay-friendly. Many, in fact, are explicitly anti-gay. Focus on the Family, The National Organization for Marriage, and the Pennsylvania Family Institute are just a few of the groups Chick-fil-A has aligned itself with, and all of them are major opponents of gay equality. Not to mention Chick-fil-A’s charitable arm, WinShape, which is pretty up front with their position:

“WinShape Retreat defines marriage from the Biblical standard as being between one man and one woman. Groups/Individuals are welcome who offer wholesome, educational conferences and programs that are compatible with Biblical values and WinShape’s purpose…we do not accept homosexual couples because of the statement in our contract.”

So not only has Chick-fil-A built this weird consumer cult around a chicken sandwich that’s okay, I guess, nothing to write home about…but through its diffuse business relationships, tacitly championed the fallacy that two married dudes shouldn’t be able to enjoy it. At least not legally. Cool, contract, guys!

I’m tired, as I think most of us are, of this idea that gay marriage is a debate. It’s not a f*cking debate. It’s a CIVIL RIGHT, and that we’re still arguing about it — trying to deny our fellow citizens some basic freedom implicit in the UNITED STATES F*CKING CONSTITUTION — is a sin far more egregious than Kurt and Blaine kissing on Glee. Why do we put up with this farce? Why do we give credence to a viewpoint that’s rooted in nothing more than indiscriminate hate and immorality? Simple test, America: if you don’t believe that gays deserve the right to marry, YOU ARE A BAD PERSON. By the transitive property of fast food, a chicken sandwich made by this kind of person will be a BAD SANDWICH.

In conclusion: you can get the same chicken-flavored calorie bomb at McDonald’s or another fast food restaurant of your choosing, and they’re all open on Sundays. And they don’t hate gays.

Tags: Chick-fil-A, False Idols, Fast Food Nation, H8erade, Homophobia, McCrazy

This entry was posted on September 23, 2011 at 10:07 am and is filed under "News", Absurd But True, Gripes & Tirades. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.