Recently I’ve been exposed to the creative juggernaut that is: Ke$ha. Before you say you’ve never heard of her, stop… you have. And if you haven’t you’re probably someone who still considers the Moody Blues a contemporary artist. In 2010, Ke$ha has already been busy breaking music industry records. I consider this about as impressive/telling as setting a new hi-score in Contra, Paperboy, or any other game on a long outdated medium, but it’s worth noting nonetheless. Just about a week ago, she set the record on Billboard’s Pop Songs radio airplay chart with a mind-numbing 11,224 plays inside of one week. What does this speak less highly of: commercial radio or mankind at large? Let’s pause to digest the magic that enabled the young, blonde artist to become the 12th woman in history to “…send her debut single and album to No. 1 on the Hot 100 and Billboard 200, respectively” (Billboard.com):
Having watched that, have you found God in your simple and meaningless life? Me too. But let’s get down to the nitty gritty on this burgeoning pop star. The fact of the matter is that a french, hipster goddess (originally born state-side) has been producing music that is strikingly similar yet vastly superior and honest, for years now. Uneducated world, I present to you, UFFIE: a slick-talking modern indie diva who’s not afraid to record tracks with cuss words flying and big beats dropping. She’s in tight with the Ed Banger crew on the other side of the pond, in case you needed any credentials. If you’re like me, you may have already recognized the sound of Ke$ha’s trite musings on albums dating as far back as 2007. For example, the classic Justice track “TTHHEE PPAARRTTYY” (see video/song below), located in the midst of the torrential downpour of electro-metal found on the duo’s first and only LP entitled †, features the infinitely more original and charming Uffie delivering truth bombs as deftly as studio exec’s well constructed but hopelessly clichéd biography of her chart-topping counterpart. Whereas producers in million-dollar studios spin tales of drunken, pseudo-slut debauchery in nightclubs in the city of angels for Ke$ha, Uffie straight up lives that shit world WIDE, son. Tell me if you can’t recognize the blatant doppelgänger-y that producers have recreated for Ke$ha to satiate the poor, unassuming masses of America:
My criticism may sound like a classic case of music geek condescension, a situation I call scenester-sour-grapes: For every, Ke$ha there will be an infinitely more indie, less mainstream version of her that you’ve never heard of. “Yeah, early Jimmy Eat World was good, but Texas is the Reason is soooooo much better bro. They broke up BEFORE anyone could actually enjoy their music.” Now I’m not saying I don’t practice that bullshit regularly… But I assure you this is not what is happening here. What is happening is that people who model their lives after the cast of Jersey Shore from even before Jersey Shore was a TV show, not merely a location on a map and a real goddamn way of life, are dictating what is popular in this country. If you’re interested in the status-quo, by all means pick up Ke$ha’s album Tik Tok now before Best Buy has less than 100,000 copies ready for the taking. But trust me when I tell you, Uffie had it down first and her shit is so much more legit, it makes premise of the “Tik Tok” video seem so ironic, it isn’t.