My guess is that by this point in time, anyone still bothering to read the Fog is either looking for porn in the wrong place (sorry!) or a Nintendo geek… or both. In case you haven’t noticed, the Nintendo loyalty around these parts is nothing short of unending. SPOILER ALERT, this post is going to be about Nintendo, but before you 360 whores turn your attention elsewhere, hear me out: this is not a puff piece. In fact, as a dedicated Wii user and longtime Nintendo fan, it breaks my heart to have to write such harsh things about a company I have grown to love over the years. But I’ve gone quiet for too long. Despite containing a market share of nearly double any of its competitors, the Wii platform has done little to stimulate its fan base on any sort of level. What was the best game you played on the Wii? Oh yeah, Twilight Princess… a LAUNCH title.
The Nintendo Wii was released to eager consumers in the prosperous time of 2006 when people still trusted banks and CNN was still a “news” outlet rather than a mere pawn of social networking websites. Yes, those were the days. On that fateful November day, I waited in line in the freezing cold at Walmart with people like this, anxious to get my hands on some new, exciting video game hardware before the rest of the waking world. And boy was it sweet, taking control of Link in an epic, 40+ hour game that I had yearned to play from the time it was promised to be released on the GameCube. But what have you done for me lately, Nintendo?
Yeah, Super Mario Galaxy was pretty fun… but was it a game changer like SM64 was? No way. Sure, the Wii Fit is as popular of an accessory for housewives as a bracelet from Tiffany’s, but has it magically turned all the morbidly obese American children into Olympic runners and world class athletes? NO! So what’s going on Nintendo? As of June 2009, Nintendo has reportedly shipped 52.3 million units worldwide… roughly the population of South Africa (Wikipedia, you make this all too easy!). Remember when the South Africans got tired of all those bullshit aliens hanging around sucking up resources so they started running tests on them and then a war broke out because of some white guy that became one of the them? Imagine if the population of Wii users were equally fed up with the lack of creative, innovative, and oh, I don’t know, FUN videogames on the market and decided to take on Nintendo. I am actually shocked that it hasn’t happened yet.
Let’s take a look at IGN’s Editors’ Choice list for Wii, shall we? 6 of the top 10 reviewed games in this section are VIRTUAL CONSOLE GAMES, NOT original Wii titles! What!? Three years after launch date and the best reviewed game for the Wii is one that was originally released 11 years ago?! Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly agree that Ocarina is one of, if not the best, games of all time, but this is simply inexcusable. It all started a few nights ago when my friends and I dusted off the Wiimotes to play Mario Party 8, a game so painfully executed that I’m surprised more people haven’t flung their Wiimotes at the TV, purposely trying to break the screen.
Title after title being released by Nintendo’s main “competition” is released to almost unanimous acclaim across the board, and the best Nintendo can offer is a Mario or Zelda game every 3-4 years. Nintendo, you’ve got the market cornered. If you would release some well developed, original content to satiate gamers and housewives alike, you might be remembered as more than just the little white box that everyone had but couldn’t figure out what to do with.