Which is it going to be, sir? I know I’ve been watching a lot of HBO’s Deadwood lately and I know I must seem like I’m on some sort of digital persona kick, but on the eve of tonight’s online gold rush I just can’t help but post about this. Tonight is the dawn of a new era. In case you were living under a rock or you didn’t have the Internet, tonight is the night (at 12:01 AM EST) that Facebook will offer personalized addresses for individual profiles. Tired of just being a number on Facebook? Now’s your chance to differentiate yourself from the masses with a personal domain, i.e. facebook.com/DJSteve. (If you try to take this one, I will find you. And kill you.) However, if you surf in at a casual 12:03 AM you may find yourself on the short end of the stick. Don’t be surprised how many Richard Richardsons there are in the world. You may have thought you were the only Paul Clandestino in the universe but in fact there are 3, and both PClandestino and PaulC are already taken!
But before you start canceling all your Friday night plans… (“Sorry guys, Counterstrike LAN party is going to have to wait”), take relief that there are people in this world that have got your back. Deadwood is like the Internet: trust is a rare commodity, so when a company like Assetize comes along with a fancy commerce site and a late 90s web design, you know you are safe. Assetize.com will be your Robin Hood when you were too late to score facebook.com/bonerz; the site allows you to barter for domains on social networking sites with ease. All you need is money, and probably a lot of it, given the popularity of the word “boner” and the age group that supports it’s penchant for adding “z”s to anything they can get their hands on, lolzorz. I guess its not like Robin Hood at all, actually. Whatever, that wily fox wouldn’t have survived a day in America’s capitalistic society. Oh you can steal from the rich and give to the poor? Yeah that’s pretty good, but the guy behind you is offering to steal from the King AND kill him for the same rate… UNDERCUT, Robin Hood, guess they didn’t teach you the free market economy in that fantasy forest land you grew up in!
All Robin Hood tangents aside, tonight is a momentous night for many seeking to take their Internet celebrity to the next level. I’m 1st in line to score an Ashton related address… what the hell are you waiting for?!