No Cussing Club: That Dude is the F$*king S%#t


Welcome to the sickest f$%king  club in the world. It’s a pretty fun club – there’s orange t-shirts, multiculturalism, rap music made by white people, and even a retro-fitted website with a GeoCities motif (WARNING: This site not suitable for web browsers more current than Internet Explorer 1.0). The premise is simple: chill on the cussing, bro. It all started when “the most cyberbullied kid in the world,” (a title anyone would be proud of) McKay Hatch, founded the NCC (for short) when he was tired of being the only 8th grader left with a family cursing jar in his house all the foul language he was hearing around his junior high in South Pasadena, CA. Now, I’m sure, his title of “the most cyberbullied kid in the world” is starting to make a little more sense.

Despite the fact that the club has grown into a worldwide phenomenon, their website has yet to advance out of the dark age. But with all the bulls*#t they are pushing out of the NCC E-store, I’m sure some of that money can go towards a course or two in Flash or Photoshop design. What a noble cause, though! Selling a book for $14.95 (plus shipping + handling) on how to stand up to cyberbullies and alienate yourself from all your peers who stopped having to eat soap for saying “Hell” or “Damn” around the house when they were, say, 7 years old. But before you think you’re being ripped off by that unbeatable, recession-proof price, note the endorsement of none other than Rudy Ruettiger… yes, that Rudy. But how long before this fad wears off and his parents scramble to cash his checks some other way? Or maybe a better question is: will McKay Hatch still be yelling fiddlesticks when he’s getting paddled by his pledgemasters at a USC fraternity in 10 years?

South Pasadena to Hollywood

South Pasadena to Hollywood

But don’t worry — Hatch has become somewhat of a 24 hour news network darling: he’s received as much air time in the last 6 months as the 1st black president of the United States… I’m blanking on his name right now. What’s important is that the NCC will be a great starting point for young Hatch to make a seamless leap into celebrity culture (dood’s got rapping SKILLZ son!). He need only take a 45 minute (with traffic) trip down the 11o S and up the 101 N to arrive in a land populated by people just like him: pushing nonsensical hippie peace theories on a world that never asked to hear them, being the subject of books that no one will ever read, and making appearances on late night TV shows to fill time between Hollywood shooting schedules. Once he joins Twitter, his transformation into a full fledged celebrity will be complete. Good thing the NCC doesn’t have an official stance on alcohol, drugs, or promiscuous sex.

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6 Responses to “No Cussing Club: That Dude is the F$*king S%#t”

  1. Gunky Slug Says:

    To say I was tempted to forward this to BL and Gary is a vast understatement. Wondering where her head would be if she could get beyond the text to the video. Now that’s the s%#t!

  2. Businessman with a proposition Says:

    Show the world that you’re abstaining from cussing by sporting your trendy nocussing rings! Only $29.99 on!

  3. Henning Says:

    All I see is some f**king b*tch-@$$ kids who need to get their f**king shit rocked. HARD.

    “Oh, pickles!” as a substitute for the perfect, unmatched eff-bomb? Not on my f**king watch! I’m launching an opposition group called SAILORS’ RIGHT. DVDs will be sold on Lifting Fog starting Thursday evening.

  4. Rosalie Says:

    Yall need to just get over this kid and respect his decision. It doesn’t hurt anyone that he and some others are deciding to be moral. He’s not trying to force anything on you (or take away your freedom of speach). Honestly, he is being more mature about this than others twice his age. You are acting like a bunch of little kids who don’t know any way to express themselves other than getting mad. I’m not trying to be preachy or act like an adult (I’m 14). I’m just saying that this has been taken way out of proportion. Its just a group of kids who don’t want to cuss. How about respecting thier freedom of speach? Lay off.

  5. DJ Steve Says:

    Aside from the overtly sarcastic tone of the article, I would tend to agree. I think the news networks should lay off the story when there are more pressing issues at hand like reporting REAL news.

    That being said, I have nothing against the group or the young man. I simply find it interesting that the club’s site finds it necessary to sell things when the cause should speak for itself, and also that in 10 years from now, I wouldn’t be surprised if cussing was the least of his, or anyone’s problems

  6. Jason Hargreaves Says:

    I really can’t believe it. I pray Wayne is ok for the world cup!

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