Welcome to the sickest f$%king club in the world. It’s a pretty fun club – there’s orange t-shirts, multiculturalism, rap music made by white people, and even a retro-fitted website with a GeoCities motif (WARNING: This site not suitable for web browsers more current than Internet Explorer 1.0). The premise is simple: chill on the cussing, bro. It all started when “the most cyberbullied kid in the world,” (a title anyone would be proud of) McKay Hatch, founded the NCC (for short) when he was tired of being the only 8th grader left with a family cursing jar in his house all the foul language he was hearing around his junior high in South Pasadena, CA. Now, I’m sure, his title of “the most cyberbullied kid in the world” is starting to make a little more sense.
Despite the fact that the club has grown into a worldwide phenomenon, their website has yet to advance out of the dark age. But with all the bulls*#t they are pushing out of the NCC E-store, I’m sure some of that money can go towards a course or two in Flash or Photoshop design. What a noble cause, though! Selling a book for $14.95 (plus shipping + handling) on how to stand up to cyberbullies and alienate yourself from all your peers who stopped having to eat soap for saying “Hell” or “Damn” around the house when they were, say, 7 years old. But before you think you’re being ripped off by that unbeatable, recession-proof price, note the endorsement of none other than Rudy Ruettiger… yes, that Rudy. But how long before this fad wears off and his parents scramble to cash his checks some other way? Or maybe a better question is: will McKay Hatch still be yelling fiddlesticks when he’s getting paddled by his pledgemasters at a USC fraternity in 10 years?
But don’t worry — Hatch has become somewhat of a 24 hour news network darling: he’s received as much air time in the last 6 months as the 1st black president of the United States… I’m blanking on his name right now. What’s important is that the NCC will be a great starting point for young Hatch to make a seamless leap into celebrity culture (dood’s got rapping SKILLZ son!). He need only take a 45 minute (with traffic) trip down the 11o S and up the 101 N to arrive in a land populated by people just like him: pushing nonsensical hippie peace theories on a world that never asked to hear them, being the subject of books that no one will ever read, and making appearances on late night TV shows to fill time between Hollywood shooting schedules. Once he joins Twitter, his transformation into a full fledged celebrity will be complete. Good thing the NCC doesn’t have an official stance on alcohol, drugs, or promiscuous sex.