Newsweek publishes an article at least 4 times a year with a headline reading “Why They Hate Us,” usually referring to the Muslim world. As an avid American enthusiast (as of 01-20-2009), I am always on the lookout for reasons why they hate us. Today, I found one that encompasses everything we stand for as a people and country, and I found it at Domino’s Pizza.
Exhibit A (view from office)
By now I think it’s safe to say everyone has seen the newly advertised sandwiches featured at Domino’s. NOTE: If you haven’t, then you 1) don’t watch Adult Swim or any other program geared towards the 18-36 male demographic, 2) you don’t watch any TV at all, or 3) you are a terrorist. So which is it, readers? Today I decided to give these sandwiches a shot. I’d like to think of myself as a pretty big junk food enthusiast. For example, I’ve eaten Oreos everyday for the last 5 years (even when I had a stomach virus). The sandwiches look enticing enough, but the fact that there’s a Domino’s across the street from where I work (Exhibit A) was enough to convince me it was at least worth a block’s walk. What I discovered was nothing short of an exercise in excess as I delved into the dark and disturbing world of online pizza ordering.
Exhibit B (the Pizza Tracker)
Enter: the Pizza Tracker (Exhibit B). Domino’s web design team should be considered one of the best in the biz. They have created a system in which, upon ordering food from Domino’s online for delivery or carry out, you can actually track the status of the pizza making/sandwich sculpting process. In this case, Claudia was the employee in control of my destiny. Is this a product of our laziness? A testament to the extent of the modern information age? Or possibly a mix of both? All I know is that I was never more proud to own a laptop computer using hi-speed wireless internet to facilitate a transaction that could have taken place with face-to-face human interaction a mere block away from me (Exhibit A). Thank god I could judge Claudia on her progress (Exhibit B) from afar as opposed to in person.
Domino’s seamless web interface for ordering disgusting food and then tracking its progress is most assuredly a reason “Why They Hate Us.” I don’t know if Zakaria could have foreseen this kind of advanced example of purebred and proud Americana. Good thing they write this article every few months; whenever we develop a new way of perpetuating our laziness while rewarding our subconscious trust of computer screens over other human beings, everyone wins. Especially me.
Tags: Domino's Pizza, Oven Baked Sandwiches, Pizza Tracker, Why They Hate Us
Lifting Fog 
January 26, 2009 at 4:54 pm |
this makes me almost want to order a pizza.
by the way you should add a digg link on this site. I dugg you:
http://digg.com/comedy/Why_They_Hate_Us_Americans_Muslims_Domino_s_Pizza_Web_App
heres a link to do this: http://blog.patyuen.com/lessons/howto_install_diggthis_plugin/
January 26, 2009 at 7:36 pm |
Thanks Jeff, we have been looking into this for some time but it has yet to come into fruition.
April 23, 2009 at 7:13 am |
[…] Last time I was riled up enough to comment on the pitiful state of American consumerism culture, the target was Domino’s: a national food chain that can sell us booger infused culinary delights and still have us calling each Tuesday for that 5-5-5 deal. But this time I’ve been excited by something much more local and entrepreneurial. A gourmet pet bakery can be found in almost place where money grows on trees and the only way to tell the difference between houses is by their number, but in Los Angeles County, they seem to have the monopoly on senseless ways to spend money during a recession. They beat out other popular options including 2) seeing Watchmen a 2nd time to make more sense of it and 3) spending $700 for sold out Bruce Springsteen tickets (I have a feeling he’ll be around next year, guys). As noted in the previous post in this series, the theme stems from a Fareed Zakaria article in which the famous Newsweek pundit attempts to define why the Muslim world doesn’t seem to like American Idol quite as much as we do. Now, I’m adding gourmet pet bakeries to the list. […]
October 22, 2009 at 2:58 pm |
[…] foreign nationals to some of the worst examples of American music EVER. Chalk this one up to “Why They Hate Us“, Fareed Zakaria; if I had to listen to (Hed) P.E. more than ten seconds a day, I’d […]
June 25, 2013 at 8:15 am |
Pores And Skin Tag Elimination At Dwelling
July 16, 2013 at 5:25 am |
Many thanks to get spreading the following with all of folks you will know what you’re speaking about! Saved as a favorite. Be sure to as well discuss with my website Equals). We could employ a url deal contract among us all
February 7, 2014 at 6:34 pm |
I almost never comment, however i did a few searching and wound up here ‘Why They Hate Us,’ Possible Answer #1: Domino’s Pizza Tracker | Lifting Fog.
And I do have a couple of questions for you if it’s allright.
Is it only me or does it appear like a few of these comments look like left by
brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are posting on additional sites, I’d like to keep up with anything fresh you have to post.
Would you list of all of all your social pages like your linkedin
profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?
February 8, 2014 at 2:48 pm |
It’s very simple to find out any topic on net as compared to textbooks, as I found this paragraph at this web page.
April 15, 2014 at 5:50 am |
I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and entertaining, and
let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue
that not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about.
I’m very happy I came across this during my hunt for something regarding this.
April 23, 2014 at 2:41 am |
Hi, I want to subscribe for this web site to take newest updates, so where can i
do it please help out.
May 1, 2014 at 12:33 pm |
Hurrah! In the end I got a web site from where I know how to truly get useful data regarding my study and knowledge.
July 15, 2014 at 10:56 am |
This is a political satire game created in 2011 by angry birds friends hack a collection of mobile games that a
number of latest mobile games are present to cater the
interest of all gamers. The $60-buy-it-once model that was all from my end.
A mobile game fan, then pick up the pigs. Infinity Blade is now actually
possibl.
September 20, 2014 at 5:04 pm |
Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
Extremely helpful info particularly the last part :
) I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain info for a very
long time. Thank you and best of luck.
September 24, 2014 at 5:06 am |
Hi, i think that i noticed you visited my site thus i got here to return the choose?.I’m attempting
to to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok
to make use of some of your ideas!!
September 24, 2014 at 8:57 am |
My family members every time say that I am killing my
time here at web, but I know I am getting experience all the time
by reading thes good posts.
September 25, 2014 at 2:37 pm |
Greetings! Quick question that’s totally off topic.
Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone.
I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue.
If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!
September 28, 2014 at 7:59 am |
Excellent article. Keep writing such kind of info on your blog.
Im really impressed by it.
Hi there, You have performed a fantastic job.
I’ll certainly digg it and in my view recommend to my friends.
I am confident they’ll be benefited from this web site.
September 29, 2014 at 11:57 pm |
If some one wants expert view about blogging and site-building afterward i recommend him/her to pay a visit this weblog, Keep up the nice work.
October 1, 2014 at 6:15 am |
Thanks to my father who shared with me about this weblog, this website is in fact remarkable.
October 6, 2014 at 2:00 am |
I like the valuable info you supply in your articles.
I will bookmark your blog and test once more right here
regularly. I’m rather certain I’ll learn lots
of new stuff proper here! Good luck for the following!
October 8, 2014 at 11:53 am |
Great blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What web host are you using?
Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours
lol
June 27, 2015 at 12:19 am |
best cloud hosting
‘Why They Hate Us,’ Possible Answer #1: Domino’s Pizza Tracker | Lifting Fog