Yeah, I said it. Initially when composing this post, I envisioned the title being as brilliant of an acronym as another fairly popular website. It seems to have fallen somewhat short, but it still sounds and reads like a Japanese chewing gum line, which is good enough for me (and consequently you as well). The truth is I am not actually aware of the current amount of blog posts pertaining to today’s most exciting viral video fix, but I don’t think I’m off base in assuming there’s more than one. First, let’s watch and take a moment to digest:
Got it down?
Kanye, you slay me! While the implications of a black man smashing a white man’s camera in Los Angeles (only to have the white man cry for the police) are astronomical from the viewpoint of a suburban raised, liberal arts educated white man, this is a serious blog, so I’ll leave the funny business for those more qualified. My initial reaction to this news was passive at best (I had to pull over on the side of the road and breathe through a brown bag for at least 20 minutes on my way to Hollywood this morning), I had no choice but to wait with the rest of the world in anticipation as TMZ uploaded the video to their site. I sat in just-watched-the-season-finale-of-Lost anticipation with the receptionist at work as the TMZ news feed went from “video on its way” to “video being uploaded” to finally “here it is!” in a matter of minutes. I was shocked and appalled by TMZ’s sluggish response time. I guess that’s why its only the number three news outlet in the country, just behind Entertainment Tonight and E! News Daily. Step your game up, TMZ, please.
My frustrations aside, watching the clip was not unlike watching the birthing video from high school health class: I laughed at first, I most certainly cried in the middle, and in the end I was left pondering the intricacies and complex, yet subtle interworkings of life. What does it all mean, TMZ? After perusing my now worn in copy of Jacob Riis’ How the Other Half Lives, it all started to come together. TMZ might as well stand for “Totally Messed up viewZ” on how the other half lives. The living conditions for modern day celebrities have degraded into a festering vat of tyranny and hardships!
If someone famous has to endure one more camera in their face before the biggest celebrity of all can be elected, I might just march down to Washington myself (or have my assistant do it for me after he picks up my dry cleaning). These are desperate times and Mr. West has become the icon for a rapidly growing cause in this country: civil celebritarian rights! How much more civilly disobedient does it get than smashing a digital camera? I mean, if there were 10 megapixel cameras waiting for Ghandi when he got off his private jet, you KNOW that shit would be civilly disobedified!
How much more can we take as a country? Last time I checked, King George wasn’t gonna do it for us. So the next time you see a crate of digital cameras being delivered to the National Enquirer’s headquarters, do what our founding fathers did: get your native american headdresses and loin cloths Kanye glasses and Louie Vuitton backpacks out and toss those boxes into the LA River. It’s time to take back the power for the only people that matter!