No No, AFTER He Graduates


Hey there, Upper West-Siders – Gossip Girl here bringing you the latest whispers from the political elite. Seems that Senators Obama and McCain will be making a surprising stop at fair Alma Mater next week, putting down their convention-tested weapons for a moment and speaking to a non-partisan crowd about public service. Anyone with a web browser knows that O is returning to old turf, but M’s no stranger, either – his daughter graduated from Columbia in 2007 and he himself spoke at Commencement in 2006. Will next Thursday’s speeches be cordial… or confrontational? You know what they say about familiarity… You know you love me.

Gossip Girl

It’s like Ahmadinejad all over again! Next Thursday, presidential hopefuls Barack Obama and John McCain will unite under one roof (specifically Lerner Hall) to speak separately about public service. Sponsored by ServiceNation, the event aims to increase service involvement among citizens by the year blah blah* WHAT!? OBAMA AND MCCAIN AT COLUMBIA?!? It’s no debate, sure, but their mere presence on campus – particularly that of Obama, who has been so careful to distance himself from our fortress of crazy liberals – is enough to incite a riot. Excitement around these parts is palpable. It’s anyone’s guess as to who will get a louder round of applause.

Naturally, this all happens a few months after my student privileges have been revoked. Bwog reports that student leaders are asking for Jumbotrons to be set up on South Lawn like they were for Ahmadinejad last fall, though, so maybe there’s hope for graduates, too. I know I’ll be out there waving my lighter.

* Please don’t take “blah blah” as a dismissal of ServiceNation’s goals. I’m sure they’re noble.

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2 Responses to “No No, AFTER He Graduates”

  1. reim Says:

    if only we could have had an obama/mccain experience instead of ahmadenijad, huh? i could go on about how our campus was turned into a fortress against the hostility of radical pro-israel protesters, but i’d sound too bitter.

    love the images, btw.

    and your voice was in my head, reading the intro like gossip girl does. i always imagined her to have dirty blonde hair.

  2. Henning Says:

    I know, right? With flowers and harmony instead of I HATE YOU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!? and thirty Hillel buses descending on Morningside Heights. I’m going to try to catch the would-be presidents on the Jumbotron outside.

    Reim, you watch Gossip Girl? We’ve got to chat.

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